15. You Don't Need a Guru. But Climbing Mount Doom is Seriously Hard

You're the hero. Who has your back? Let's compare some legendary allies with mentors. Lessons for aspiring creators.

In a story, the hero gets all the credit. But mentors and allies play a key role.

In my own life, I have relied on friends and mentors and would not be where I am without them. They've given me the compassion and wisdom to overcome internal and external obstacles. They see my greatness and reflect that back to me.

This is why I work as a coach for writers and creators.

First, Some Annoying Misconceptions

I want to clear up two misconceptions about the role of a mentor or coach.

Part of my aversion that held me back from being a coach came from the bad vibes I got from others in the field. People who billed themselves as "published authors" who "are connected with agents and publishers."

This evokes the sense of them being the gatekeepers. They are playing into the often-held fears of aspiring writers who feel disempowered and believe they need someone to hold the door open for them.

A good coach isn't like some medieval priest with the unique authority to perform sacred rituals to commune with the divine. That would imply that direct access to the divine is not readily available to the layperson.

The Reformation crushed that notion, advocating for the "priesthood of all believers," which suggests that every individual has direct access to God. This was a big improvement.

I think it's important for you to get clear on what you want help with and to trust that you are most empowered when you are most yourself. Otherwise, you will find yourself in a position where you’re just trying to copy someone else’s script for success. Anyone who desires integrity will either lose motivation or find this kind of success unsatisfying once they achieve it.

The Ally ("Let’s Go Together”) Approach

The ally is there with you on your journey. They’re not necessarily better than you. They're on a similar quest themselves. They can help because they are:

• farther along, or at least familiar with the terrain

• good at recognizing what’s great about you

• skillful at helping you strategize

People usually think that to be able to help someone, you have to have "done it yourself:"

"If I want to write a sci-fi bestseller, I must work with a bestselling sci-fi author."

But, if you could only learn how to do something from a person who had achieved your goal, doesn't that undermine the uniqueness of your achievement?

If you're following someone else’s script for success, you've dropped the ball on what's most valuable.

We are kept from our goal not by obstacles, but by a clear path to a lesser goal.

- Bhagavad Gita

You need someone with relevant experience, sure, but most importantly, the ability to see you and help you.

Freddy Roach is an excellent example of this concept. He was a good boxer but far better as a trainer. He has trained fighters to perform at levels far exceeding what he achieved himself.

Personally, I like to work with mentors who are also working on themselves. I don't need them to be better than me. I want a sense of camaraderie and mutual exploration.

I want someone who can create a supportive, positive environment that helps me grow.

Ally Characters

Samwise Gamgee

"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well."

Chewbacca

You can't ask for a more loyal companion than Chewy. He’ll put the pieces back together when all seems lost.

Hermione Granger

Harry and Ron basically wouldn't have scored anything above Troll without her.

The Mentor (“Here’s How to Do It”) Approach

At some point in Act One, the hero encounters the mentor — to launch the hero on the right journey.

If you're learning a craft, you need someone to teach you the fundamentals.

Obi-Wan instructed Luke with the lightsaber, but he helped him the most by getting Luke to tap into his own relationship with the Force.

A good mentor will have expertise but also understand that it's not the little bits and pieces that provide the most value.

A good mentor fosters autonomy in the learner and gives them challenges that they can win so that they come to trust themselves and have confidence as well as experience.

A good mentor instructs them just enough to help them do things independently. Nothing is done to keep the client around or dependent on them. The client stays in the relationship for the creative potential it provides.

A good mentor will understand the value of getting someone to go beyond their comfort zone and achieve their full potential.

Mentor Characters

Obi-Wan Kenobi

"Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

Gandalf

"Hope is not victory."

Morpheus

"I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it."

Let’s All Do This

The "ally" approach is more about support, while the "mentor" approach provides guidance. Both can be effective depending on the situation.

The ally approach is better if you value the journey as much as the outcome.

The mentor approach is more effective when it’s about transferring specific skills and the learner needs help to develop independence and self-direction.

There will also be phases where the hero must confront things by themselves.

• The yogi goes into the hut and devotes himself to the fire of practice.

• Luke encounters his shadow side.

• You show up every day for your creative practice.

I hope everyone who wants to do creative things chooses to surround themselves with the support of allies and mentors.

More people than ever are changing careers or looking to start something independently.

Am I describing you? If so, I can work with you as an ally or mentor. I only have four client spots available this month.

I’ll show you how to use writing to:

• rediscover yourself as a creative being

• move towards something new

What you should do: Even if you don’t consider yourself a writer, sign up for my creator newsletter, and I’ll send you tips on how to crank out words on social media without going nuts.